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Concept of Auto-Ethnography: Critical Analysis
Childhood trauma will have an instantaneous, immediate, and probably overwhelming impact on the power of the ability of a child to learn. This issue is usually ignored by our education system because the child doesnt know how to speak out. When I was a child, literacy was an important part of education where learning starts through the implementation of instruction through real-life experiences. 21st-century learners like myself mainly inherit memorization of facts, procedures and connect with real life experiences, which is not enough for success. Students like myself need to be able use critical thinking in order to evaluate what is being read and to be able to express clearly both verbally and in writing, and understand what is being taught. When I was in middle school, literacy was seen as a learning process, a set of skills, can be applied and as text. Earlier in historical literacy was seen as oral competencies, such as reading and writing to enhance cognitive skills. Skills were developed for a learner like myself to gain access to knowledge and information. As I learned, I become more literate. When I was a child, I began to read through a process of decoding by learning to connect words with the real-life things, describing words and sounding words out on the page of a book through pronunciation. There are methods set in place to help educators like myself enhance the knowledge of students. As a teenager I, began to develop stronger critical thinking skills and a better understanding and I saw in the classroom how history took a shift to meet the needs of 21st century learners.
Literacy is very important when it involves 21st century learners because of technology. I was able to type personal poems, songs and journals to tell stories of what I remember of my traumatic experience as a child. Literary using technology deals with programing a code or just to know how to work simple tools like cell phones, computer and laptops. That can be hard when you experience trauma because you may have things holding you back from mastering the basic literacy skills. Technology is becoming more advanced and the meaning of literacy is becoming more complexed for the 21st century. This means learners like myself are able to type and publish narratives, poems or any other form of writing about traumatic experiences. This means that society needs more skills to help children, teenagers and adults in the future who have experienced trauma. There are individuals like myself who may have been through trauma as a child or an adult that write narratives, books, journals, poems and get them published as a part of the healing journey because it becomes an outlet. My literacy was impacted by many traumatic experiences that happened and it still sits in my memory. Literacy is very powerful, especially when experiencing trauma because it affects the way you speak, interact with others, read and write. For a while, as a child and teenager I was very quiet and I did not speak much. I use my literacy on every topic to talk, to understand, to communicate facts, opinions and everything else, but I did not know how to express myself out loud inside and outside the classroom.
Writing helps me cope with the trauma and enhances my literacy skills inside and outside of the classroom. While going through or surviving trauma, you may feel the need to express emotions through writing in journal, writing poems, narratives or on social media. In todays society, social medias have taken over the world and people are saying things that could lead to regretting it. When I was a teenager, I put all of my feeling regarding my life on social media. It was my way of getting put how I felt about my life. These things cannot be taken back because it has been written down. It becomes permanent and is now able to be traced. The world is moving at a fast pace and sometimes life gets people off track because of trauma and my life was all over the place. I felt lost; I did not know what direction to go in. When going through a traumatic experiences or traumatic events, it forces you to grow faster like it did to me. This means that individual may not have grasp the basic concepts of literacy and may have trouble learning and focusing in the classroom like I did.
Without having the basic tools of literacy, humans are brainless and just wondering around. I was brainless and I was just wondering through life trying to figure out who could save me. When going to trauma you feel lost and brainless because the memories are chasing you and running through your mind every second of your life. This may cause someone to not think before speaking or making a decision. When I was younger after experiencing trauma, I never thought before speaking. I was so angry on the inside that I wanted to hurt everyone because I was hurt. They do say, Hurt people, hurt people. This could lead to bad consequences. If literacy was banned, the world would be with many problems, especially if people go through and survive trauma, it would make things worse for life. Most people would react based off an emotion or feeling. I reacted off my emotions and feelings all the time after experiencing trauma. It was like the traumatic experiences controlled my mind and my life.
If looking through a lens of roles of powers and expectations history of literacy/reading instruction thus far, moral power and control takes over because people were expected to worship God. I grew up in a family where worshipping God was very important. My grandfather was a pastor, so I was raised in the church. Through the lens of power there is a magnifying glass that changes perceptions, communication and relationships. People put on acts for those in power whether it is conscious or not and it alters peoples relationship to them, and hence their perception of themselves. I acted a certain way around family and another way around friends when I was younger. People depend on the reflection of others like those in power to get a sense of themselves. I viewed myself based off what people thought about me because I did not know my worth after going through traumatic experiences. Looking through the lens of power changes this reflection and sometimes can put people at risk. How does this lens of power operate? People may see a leader as a symbol or role model for their life to be complete, not just as an individual who is of higher authority. I saw my grandfather that was a pastor and teachers as a role model in my life. I often looked to people to help me get out, turning away from family. I wanted to get out of what I was trapped in and needed people to model what life should be like for me. My mom was a good role model for my life, but I even turned away from her because I was running away from my problems and did not want my mom to help me fix it. I wanted to do everything myself. Everything you do society does and say becomes a cultural norm to obey or resist and you do it because it is what you see.
Sometimes people in society will be unfairly criticized, your actions are misinterpreted, and your failures are unexcused. Its critical to be aware of others projections, stereotypes, and unrealistic expectations of the role, and ultimately those of high power set high expectations for society to follow. Roles of power and assumptions take control of the mind and it allows for people to be treated differently and relate differently, especially if there is trauma involved. Leading through this twisting lens of power and expectations it can be challenging for those who go through trauma to follow those who are in a role of responsibility, authority, and power. Assumptions are then increased because those who go through trauma feel like they are judged based off actions and behavior. When being judged and laughed at based of literacy development in the classroom or because you are too quiet, it caused me to close up and not want to speak about my traumatic experience. Writing it down to tell a story was the only way to get out of the broken felling I had inside.
I only feel free when I am writing things down inside and outside the classroom. I had so much built up inside of me and I was afraid to speak even when it came to my academics. I was very shy around people inside and outside the classroom and I was too shy and timid to meet new people when being introduced. I had my guard up; I was very defensive of who I would allow into my life and open up to. This went on from the age of twelve up until todays adulthood. This is still the same. I have to observe a person and really get to know them before allowing them in my life. My literacy was affected by these traumatic experiences. I could never forget because it chased me every day. My everyday life was affected and continues to help my literacy skills grow inside and outside of the classroom.
Student trauma is real, but connections with teachers can help heal. When I faced challenging life situations, I often seeked and leaned on others like mentors and teachers. When I was going through a traumatic experience, there was a higher risk for negative impacts on my learning, social life, health, and wellbeing. That is because both my emotional and social pain took over my brain and body. My trauma had an emotional impact on me because it changed my brain, affecting my memory, my cognition, and my learning capacity. The results of my trauma led me to acting out, exhibit big emotions, and struggling with impulsivity in school. This got me in trouble or is mistaken for a learning disorder. In order for students like myself to be receptive to learning during or after experiencing trauma, there needs to be a supportive ecosystem around social and emotional development inside and outside the classroom.
After experiencing trauma, I felt like I needed the extra attention and guidance in my life. I would act out in the classroom or sit alone in the classroom because I did not trust anyone. By my teachers forming strong connections with me in the classroom and my classroom environment, it yielded my relational literacy and allowed adults to develop understanding and empathy for me and other students who have experienced or experiencing trauma.
Autoethnography
Autoethnography is an emerging form of qualitative research that uses personal experiences to tell a story with voice to describe and interpret beliefs and practices to understand cultural experiences in society. Wall (2008) offers a foundation definition of autoethnography when she describes it as an
intriguing and promising qualitative method, emerging from postmodern philosophy, in which the dominance of traditional science and research is questioned and many ways of knowing and inquiring are legitimated, autoethnography offers a way of giving voice to personal experience to advance sociological understanding (p. 39).
This definition is the introduction to pursuing the understanding of autoethnography because it demonstrates to the researcher as an autoethnographer using real life personal experiences that through to telling a story through voice, being heard and shedding a light to the society. Autoethnographers are a part of the society they study and the relationship between society and the researcher connect in response to postmodern critiques of representation and legitimation. Denzin (1996) enlightens research by offering texts to audiences that invite participation, collaboration and praxis; in this way that can be said that autoethnographers are attempting to inscribe themselves into their research while writing their works into others lives (Arlington 2004). Adams, Bochner and Ellis (2011), through circulating and active literacy, autoethnographers expands and opens up a wider lens on the world, eschewing rigid definitions of what constitutes meaningful and useful research; this approach conjointly helps America perceive however the types of folks we tend to claim, or are perceived, to be influence interpretations of what we study, how we study it and what we are saying regarding our topic (Adams, 2005; Wood, 2009). This self-reflective approach of my life may signal a shift away from social science based on positivism, since as the term itself suggest, autoethnography as a methodology does indeed function in relationship to the narrative of traditional ethnography while being both dependent and critical of its use (Denzin 2008).
Ethnography
Ethnography is writing about cultures unlike your own by using methods like observing, interviewing, surveys, etc to gain a better understanding of what the researcher may see, hear, taste, smell, and touch. A well-known definition of ethnography is found in McGranahan (2014) The writing of the people, the writing of society, the writing of culture. By ethnographic research, anthropologists mean the ever-evolving Malinowskian program of an ethnographer in the field conducting participant-observation paired with a range of other methods, living within a community, and getting deeply into the rhythms, logics, and complications of life as lived by a people in a place, or perhaps by peoples in places (p. 24). Ethnography helps researchers understand how life operates outside of their everyday life. With the ethnography, authors feel that they have control and understanding over the individuals that they are writing about even if a person is writing about themselves. There are different levels in which they operate and interact and why human behave the way they do. Morgan-Trimmer and Wood (2016) explains that through living and working with communities through extended periods of time, often months or years, ethnographers aim to see and describe the world through the eyes of members of that community. They pay specific attention to the standard of living, narratives of events, social interactions, and the cultural meanings and practices of a community.
During the process of ethnography, it helps the researcher reveal common cultural understandings related to the phenomena under the subject in which is being studied. There is a danger that the man of science could introduce bias toward views of his or her own culture. Ethnographers could validate findings through typical repository analysis, observations, consultation with consultants, use of surveys, interviews and different techniques not distinctive to descriptive anthropology to assist them become am knowledgeable at what is being researched.
Background of the Problem
Trauma occurs when external events overwhelm a persons coping responses and takes over the mind. Trauma can result from adverse childhood experiences, natural disasters, accidents, interpersonal violence or war. Children from all races and socioeconomic backgrounds are influenced by traumatic experiences and it affect their development of literacy inside and outside of the classroom. Children and teenagers reaction to trauma can interfere with brain development, learning, and behavior and all of these have a tremendous impact on academic success and the overall school environment. Children and adolescents are developing and growing daily and sometimes life experiences influence humans development in both negative and positive ways. Physiological changes to children and teenagers brains as well as emotional and behavioral responses to trauma have and an impact on the way they lean, school engagement, and academic success. Trauma experiences during the most sensitive times in children and teenagers lives can be harmful to brain development. Traumatic experiences will change the structure and functioning of children and teenagers brains through the activation of stress response systems because of the memories they have kept in the back of their heads. The brain is imaging those memories of trauma and children and teenagers may want to write or tell a story about those traumatic experiences.
In addition to changes to the brain, trauma might impact students learning and behavior in class. Children and teenagers who have dealt with trauma might notice it more difficult than their peers to concentrate on class material or process new information given; they may even have trouble reading or writing. To make sure children and teenagers literacy skills are developing in the classroom teachers must be willing to treat students behavior like reading and math. Teachers can not punish kids for struggling to read or write. Teachers needs to be sure to help students that are experiencing trauma or have been through a traumatic experience by giving the, the proper reading and writing support they need. Children and teenagers should not be punished in the classroom for struggling with social, emotional, or behavioral skills when it comes to literacy. Looking from the lens of a trauma-informed perspective, teachers need to realize children and teenagers need interventions, coaching, and support to develop their social-emotional skills, not punitive measures when they are not able to perform at the expected level. Teachers have a special role and have a big impact on children and teenagers social-emotional skill development through relationships inside and outside of the classroom.
Children and teenagers who are going through trauma or have experienced a traumatic experiences need the proper connections in the classroom in order to build and develop literacy skills. This will help children and teenagers learn from each other in a social context in the classroom. Teachers need to make sure there are a lot of opportunities for student-to-student discussion, collaboration, and feedback in the classroom within students zones of proximal development, so that literacy skills can become stronger. Better communication will help children and teenagers open up more in the classroom and help them cope with the harmful effects of trauma.
Statement of the Problem
There is so much pain in the classroom, educators should be mindful that going through traumatic life experiences or surviving traumatic life experiences can sometimes emerge as behaviors that educators may label as challenging. Trauma can cause students to behave in many ways inside and outside of the classroom that may not be seen as normal. It is critical for teachers and educators recognize that frustrated students are often those that have experienced the highest levels of trauma and need the most loving attention and support in the classroom. Children and teenagers who have difficulty connecting and relating to their peers tend to experience ongoing social difficulties throughout their schooling and adult life. The behavioral symptoms of children surviving trauma are can be misviewed or misunderstood and seen as being an intentional and controlled acts or diagnosed as a particular disorder not specifically related to trauma, such as oppositional defiant disorder or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, rather than as symptoms of trauma (Van der Kolk 2005). In order to understand childrens puzzling behaviors, it is very important that teachers and educators take time out to communicate with childrens families on the regularly basis to be able to understand certain behaviors seen in the classroom might be connected to some traumatic experiences (Wright 2014).
Purpose of the Study
The purpose of this study is to observe my use and practices of literacy when going through a traumatic experience and coping with the memories of trauma. In the research, I specifically seek to explore through autoethnographic observations of my personal journals, personal narratives, personal poems and personal song lyrics to see how the influence of trauma affects my social literacy practices in the classroom through storytelling. This autoethnography is about writing personal narratives, personal poems, journaling, and personal song lyrics and observing my daily life through the sometimes difficult or traumatic memories that show up in my life from time to time that affected my childhood and adulthood. It is about narrative healing, storytelling and transformation through the practice of autoethnographic writing. Data from my observing my daily life inside and outside the classroom, narratives and journals will be used from 2004-2021.
Educators and policy makers need to consider that traumatized children or teenagers often have trouble managing strong emotions. In addition to connecting and bonding with students inside and outside of the classroom whove been traumatized and helping them build missing skills; it is important educators give as much positive attention as possible. It is already a problem that many teachers are never really taught how to help students who have experienced trauma. This can put a stress and strain on their own health and personal lives. Educators and policy makers need to be able to identify when a child is experiencing trauma and develop coping strategies for their schools and classrooms. Policy makers and educators need to support each other in creating and sustaining a positive mindset and environment, a place and belief that all students can achieve success, regardless of what theyre experiencing inside and outside of the classroom. When teachers or educators feel tired and discouraged when it comes to their students, it is important to step back from any stressful situation and remember the bigger picture of what needs to be accomplished. Schools should connect school staff and teachers who might be experiencing difficult situations with students who have experienced trauma by providing the proper training classes and skills. School leaders should take a school-wide approach and create trauma-informed schools that recognize and are prepared work with community members can help students that have been impacted by trauma and traumatic stress.
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