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Divorce and Future Relationships Essay
Immediately after divorce woman is emotionally and mentally stressed. After the divorce, the woman feels that they cannot structure their future. They are aware of the social stigma that will follow them after the divorce. Traditionally women are recognised only through marriage. The divorced woman is forced to withdraw from society. She has no status in society and is confronted with many problems. Similarly, society looks down on Simrit. Simrit says to Joshi As if divorce were a disease that left pockmarks’ (TDS 4). Simrit divorce does not bring freedom and relief from agony but confrontation in the male-dominated society. She feels utterly lost and bewildered at the brutal divorce settlement inflicted upon her. After divorce, she has to combat orthodox views about the status of women in Indian society. Simrit is a very sensitive woman and feels abandoned. She experiences the emotional shock and the consequences of an unfair divorce settlement. She has to bear the stigma of divorce for the remaining part of her life. Simrits predicament still follows her like a shadow even after the divorce. She has to combat all the problems of life as a single woman in bringing up her children. In this novel, Sahgal unfolds Soms ill-treatment, harassment, and marginalization disregarding the feelings of his wife. Her revolutionary emancipation however puts her ironically enough not in the heaven of freedom but in the unenviable condition of a victim a sort of trapped animal(P57) The Day in Shadow by
Som and Simrit do not possess the same or like minds in their marital life. They diagonally held opposite views in all respects. They have no mind to compromise on any matters in their marital life. So Simirit suffers from marital incompatibility. Simrit wants things to be permanent but Som is interested in new things. Simrit does not want to change the old furniture but Som wants to replace the old ones. Som has modern thinking and he wants to modernise everything but Simrit is a traditional woman and does not prefer changes. Simrit feels that Soms views are childish. This reveals that an understanding and communication gap is absent between them. Some had had no use for old belongings. He had taken a childish pleasure in newness (TDS 37).
Som and Simrit have different tastes and likings even in purchasing the chair covers and curtains for decorating the house and windows. They have no uniform thinking. Som never pays attention to Simrit’s suggestions in the day to day life. Som never permits her to purchase or choose anything of her own choice. Som has supreme veto power and he has a manly ego. He is determined to do anything as per his wish and taste. Som never respects the feelings of Simrit. It reveals his male chauvinism. Simrit dismisses the cook twice for drunkenness and misbehavior. But Som reinstates him. It is a rude shock to her. She never expects or anticipates it. Simrit is helpless in this regard. Though she is the mistress of the house she cannot control the servant maids. She considers it a great setback to her life. She realizes she has no identity of her own. She loses her respect before the cook in her own house. Simrit thinks that it is an extreme type of ill-treatment and harassment meted out to her. The behavior and conduct of Som affect her mentally. She understands the patriarchal attitude of Som and his hegemony. Therefore she neither quarrels with him nor shows her anger. Simrit in a feministic way tolerates and adjusts the situation very patiently. She cannot establish her identity in the house. Therefore it paves the way for divorce. She had dismissed the cook the cook twice for drunkenness and bad behavior and Som had kept him on (TDS 38). Shyam Asnani observes:
Mere living together under the same roof, only the accumulating of a lifetime’s living habits, without any real bond of intimacies despite sex and children, the human substance between them dwindling is nothing but the mockery of marriage. True living lies in understanding each other, in mutual respect and trust, honesty and freedom without dominance (6).
Despite Soms over-domination in the above incidents, she politely accepts it without any murmur in the interests and welfare of her children. She wants to be a dignified wife and hence she allows Som to exploit and humiliate her at his sweet will to a certain limit. At the same time, she does not want to lose her respect at any cost. But later on, she visualizes the drastic change in the behavior of Som. Slowly she feels that it will be impossible to live with him peacefully and happily anymore. Every nerve of Simrit feels suffocation and she thinks that her life with Som is miserable. She does not think over or anticipate until she is placed in a frightening situation. The condition of Simrit becomes worse day by day. The suffocating life creates tension in her mind. Simrit feels that her submissiveness shall not be construed to be her weakness. Simrit unconsciously falls into the marital net without analyzing his character. Simrit Building up into a frightening situationherself a cog in a machinewith which it had become impossible to live (TDS 38). Rajendra states, Simrit despite her passive acceptance of Soms domination retains an individuality of her own. She wanted to be a good wife but not at the cost of her non-individuality (P233)
Som is not highly educated but a genius at multiplying pounds. He uses his wisdom only in promoting his business. He aspires to amaze wealth and prosperity. He wants to live in riches and comforts. He gives more importance to money, power, and glory than human feelings. Som is of Spiralling mania for affluence (TDS 87). Therefore he does not give much attention to his family and he further does not show love and affection towards his wife Simrit. Achieving success in earning money at any cost is the only ambition and pride in his life. Simrit says Money had been part of the texture of her relationship with Som, an emotional, forceful ingredient of it, intimately tied to his self-esteem. Money was, after all a form of pride, even of violence. (TDS 60) Shibani Banerjee comments, For a man like Som money is the most important thing and this love for money becomes the root of his separation from his wife Simrit (73).
Som arranges dinners for business people, adopting this as one of the techniques to improve his business. Some further think providing food and shelter is enough for his wife and children. He never considers his wifes feelings. Some treat his wife as an object of physical attraction for his pleasure and enjoyment. Simrit does not accept her status as a sex-satisfying partner but wants to be an intellectual companion to her husband. Some treat Simrit as a possession and not as a person who longs for self-expression and freedom to live as an individual within the marital bond. She is convinced that the bond of marriage should be based on trust, respect, and companionship. She expects their physical intimacy to grow and cover every act of their marital life with love and affection. She earns free communication in all aspects of her marital life and rebels against the traditional security of marriage. Therefore she feels that she is an isolated and secluded woman like abandoned furniture kept in the storeroom. Som never recognizes her individuality and her identity. Simrit has a strong conviction that nobody wants to live with him in such a pathetic condition of life. It needed a special treatment to live with the disorder and not go crazy (TDS 33). Arundhati Banerjee observes:
Man cannot think of himself without a woman. She cannot think of herself without a man. She appears essentially to the male as a sexual being. For him, she is sex…absolute sex, no less. She is defined and differentiated concerning man and not he concerning her: she is the incidental, the inessential as opposed to the essential (17).
Soms male domination does not end here. He tries to make a mockery of their marital life. He says She doesnt need me to spend more time with her shes very complete with the children and her writing and the rest of it (TDS 77). Simrit longs for communication and a close relationship with her husband where she can find freedom and her position as a wife. But her relationship with her husband becomes strained due to the domination of Som. She has to spend a smothered marital life. Simrit respects certain values of life more than materialistic prosperity whereas Som gives more importance to money and power. Simrit finds the riches and comfort offered by her husband as superficial and an obstacle to her self-realization. He never discusses his business dealing with her. During the discussion with his friends, he will deliberately keep her out of the conversation.
This ignoring nature of her husband distresses her. Soms sole aim is to earn money. He has no place for human feelings and emotions. It is not only Soms dominating attitude but his craziness for money and power that appalls Simirit. Her distress reaches a peak when Som and Vetter finalize a deal to manufacture arms. It greatly distresses her. She raises many questions to Vetter to clarify her doubts concerning the new business in arms. How do countries go shopping for arms? Do they look up special journals? There must at least be a catalog with descriptions. How does it all happen? Doesnt there have to be a guarantee (TDS 85). Vetter explains to Simrit how the new weapon is to replace the existing outmoded mountain guns. Simrit does not like this arms deal because this will ultimately destroy human beings. Som never allows Simrit to participate in and discuss any of his business dealings. His male chauvinism and ego prevent him from doing so. So she feels greatly upset over his inhuman attitude. She realizes that there is no place for the communication of thoughts in Soms world which is engulfed with the ambition for power and money.
The denial of freedom and retaining her individuality Soms obsession for wealth and his consideration of his wife Simrit as a precious object for his personal needs and self-gratification led to the gradual disintegration of their marriage. The new deal immensely distressed Simrit and in her anguish, she finds herself unable to respond to her husbands need and remains excluded and rebellious when Som compels her with his sexual urge. He considers her non-involvement as an insult. This is the main reason for the marital drift. Susheela P. Rajendra states, Som never discusses business with her. Their intimacy never extended to areas of the mind. She feels suffocated in the world of Som. It is the clash of ideals that leads to their separation(233).
The new business in arms flourishes exceedingly therefore Vetter becomes a regular visitor. He is aware of Simrits problems and is interested in solving them. But his efforts end in vain. Simrit is a bold courageous woman and she is determined to face any challenge in life. Simrit does not accept his advice and therefore Vetter suggests she find a new way. He tried to bridge the gaping void between her and Som (TDS 80). Som gets very great success in the new business deal. He wants to celebrate this great success with his business people. In commemoration of his success in the new business, he wants to replace the old furniture, curtains, and chair covers and also renovate the house. In a jubilant mood, he earnestly asks Simrit We will get the whole place redone from top to bottom. The skys the limit, Simrit what you like (TDS 83).
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