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Generation Gap: Parent To Child Relationships
Parent-child relationships are considered to be among the most important relationships Individuals have. These relationships area unit a primary contributor to the psychological well-being of each generations. Two basic demographic changes have created the roles that older oldsters and their adult youngsters play as joint informal mechanisms of support a lot of salient in recent years. First, the scale of current and future cohorts of older persons can challenge public and personal organizations ability to produce formal support to older adults. Second, high divorce rates and low fertility rates make sure that fewer youngsters are relied upon to produce informal support to their older members of the family.
Given the importance of intergenerational solidarity, researchers have been investigating the extent to which this solidarity exists in the United States and abroad. Recently, scholars have discovered that generations may perceive intergenerational solidarity very differently. The overarching finding during this body of analysis is that there’s a generation gap. That is, oldsters tend to possess a a lot of positive outlook on their relations with their adult youngsters than the kids do. Yet, to date, we all know very little concerning why this generation gap exists. This people distinction is examined inside the context of emotive aspects of parent-child relationships. We still recognize comparatively very little concerning parent-child reportage variations in alternative dimensions of parent-child relationships like intergenerational exchanges and phone. Children attended over-report contact and support relative to their senior oldsters. Thus, there is a need to clarify the reporting of intergenerational solidarity among older parents and their adult children in the United States. Even less is thought on why parent-child discrepancies in reportage of intergenerational relations exist. As one of the most widely cited explanations for parent-child discrepancies in reports of intergenerational relations in the United States, the intergenerational stake hypothesis. Suggests that perceptions of intergenerational relations may be systematically skewed by the motivations of the particular respondent.
This hypothesis purports that older oldsters read their effective relationships with their youngsters way more absolutely than their youngsters do. These variations arise thanks to the very fact that motivations and level of investment of every generation vary at completely different organic process periods. Younger generations report being less near to older members of the family as a result of their need to attain independence and their lessened relative investment in their oldsters. Older generations seek generativist, and have both a greater desire to maintain continuity between generations and a greater investment in their children (rather than vice-versa). The intergenerational stake model conjointly proposes that as generations age at the same time they become a lot of similar. This would counsel that older parent-child dyads correspond in their reports of intergenerational commonness to a bigger extent than do younger parent-child dyads. Developmentally, the interests and motivations of parents and children become more similar as they age.
Three recent studies support the intergenerational stake hypothesis. Intergenerational stake extends across the life course and isn’t confined to any specific organic process amount. Similarly, older generations report greater closeness than do younger generations. It is still unclear, however, as to the degree to which the intergenerational stake hypothesis holds for other dimensions of intergenerational solidarity, such as instrumental and emotional support.
Discrepancies between parents and childrens reports of intergenerational relations, then, may be attributable to the different social structural positions of parents and children in our society.
The logical transposition of this suggests that parents and children will have more congruous reports if they are given similar expectations, resources, and positions in society. It is this interdependence, then, that encourages similar perceptions and evaluations of ones relationships.
One way during which structural forces could impinge upon individuals perceptions of intergenerational commonness is that the creation of inequalities among parent-child dyads. Social structural inequalities could produce dependency among parent-child dyads once one generation has fewer opportunities. Children have additional positive outlooks on parent-child relations once the oldsters have high academic attainment and therefore the kids have low academic attainment. In this case, an adult child with a relatively limited education may be more reliant upon better-educated parents. This reliance may translate into more favorable of the parent-child relationship on the part of the child. Similarly, age and singlehood, two indirect socio demographic indicators of dependency, may predict generationally skewed perceptions of intergenerational relations. Parents over the age of 70 and unmarried parents are significantly more likely than their adult child to perceive a potential disruption in residence with their adult child as negative. Thus, we’d expect that variables related to dependency like age, health status, education, and singlehood will predict the over reporting of intergenerational solidarity.
On the other hand, it is expected that when parents and their children occupy similar social structural positions, their perceptions of intergenerational solidarity will be more alike. Sex may influence the degree of structural similarity between generations, because sex-linked expectations and opportunities are such an important component of social structure. The mother-daughter relationship is anticipated to own the best degree of correspondence in reports of intergenerational relations. Research has noted the notably high commonness within the mother girl relationship.
One of the additional powerful structural forces exerted on people area unit norms of filial obligation; culturally-bound and structured behaviors during which folks and youngsters area unit expected to interact. Norms of filial obligation could have an effect on people reportage variations. When cultural expectations of filial obligation area unit high for a selected generation, these persons are likely to present a more favorable and culturally affirmative response. While kinship norms are highly structured, they may be modified by certain contextual factors and life events. Account for variation in kinship obligations: age, marital status, and education.
We would therefore expect that parents are more likely than their children to over report intergenerational solidarity, particularly as the parents age. While obligations to the unmarried in general are heightened, marital disruption weakens kinship obligations. For example, divorced persons perceptions of solidarity would not be over reported as their obligations decline. However, having Associate in Nursing unmarried parent or kid could trigger Associate in Nursing over reportage of commonness. Finally, education increases kinship obligations, and we would expect that education is positively associated with over reporting.
Basically the article is written after the report of studies that was on the university student the research study the emotional problem. A lot of people have very severe disappointments in their lives with their families. Parents want children who could get along with them. A lot of kids they were a source of their parents unhappiness. Today much more than twenty years ago, people are much more egocentric, more engaged into their own gratification and satisfactions. They dont want to sacrifice&. More and more parents are not finding their children a source of joy and pleasure. ‘The family emerges through the eyes of many family members as a jail in which everyone is in private confinement, trapped within their own particular suffering. The frequent absence of intimacy, affection, warmth or shared concern, the prevalence of families in which no one had found what he wanted or needed, has had a profound impact on this generation.’ The sociologists, psychologists, psychiatrists and social workers of in fact the whole world have failed to find a solution. That is why the alleged generation gap may be a world-wide downside. Children are separate from, and unfriendly to, their parents. Drug addiction is common among even the teenagers. A lot of otherwise sensible young men and girls have turned ‘hippies’, left their comfortable homes and even jobs, and are drifting round the world looking for something they do not know what. And finally they commit suicide in despair. The age group mentioned (15 to 24 years) is surprising, as normally one is full of hope and courage in those years. The question is this then that who can save humanity? Who can that be except God! There is only one Book that is admitted even by its critics to be completely preserved. And that is the only Book to have claimed that it was a complete guidance. That Book is the Holy Quran. It does not fail to give guidance even for the baffling problem of the generation gap.
Holy Quran Quoted: This sublime book provides guidance on the subject in a number of places.
Both reach old age with thee, say not Fie to them, nor chide them, and speak to them a generous and thy Rabb has decreed that you obey none but Him, and do well to parents. If either of them or word.
And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy, and say: My Lord have mercy on them as they brought me up (when I was) little.
Your Lord is aware of best what’s in your minds. If you are self-correcting, He is surely forgiving to those who turn (to Him). (17: 23, 24, 25)
Anyhow, the word Rabb expresses acutely the relationship between Allah and His creation, particularly man in whom the perfection of moral and spiritual qualities begins to reflect the Great beauties. All stages of creation and evolution are not in mans own hand, but in that of Allahs, all the physical factors, which help in mans growth, being also provided by Allah. The parents play the most vital role in this Great scheme. Thus both the parents are the chief Divine agents for Allahs scheme for the physical and mental development of man. For it is moral and spiritual values which distinguish man from the animals and other creatures. So the Merciful Providence has not left it to the parents to provide moral and spiritual guidance. He provided it through revealed books and prophets. Unfortunately that guidance is lost, as explained earlier, except in the case of the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet Muhammad whose teachings are fully preserved. Moral and spiritual development of man is important not only because without it man becomes worse than animals but also because it is men moral and spiritual self-embedded in his soul which will survive his physical death and go into the Hereafter to live forever. So mans moral and spiritual health and growth are of paramount importance. Hence, after obedience to Allah, obedience to the parents comes next. They can be wrong sometimes but no sane person can question their being the most unselfish well-wishers of their children for whom they are willingly prepared to make every possible sacrifice, even of their lives. And nobody can question that they are more mature and experienced in the ways of life than the children. So who can be better guides than they for the immature and inexperienced teenagers? It is, however, unfortunate that the present-day teenagers are by and large in open rebellion against their parents. They break their parents loving and tender hearts and reduce them to tears. The justification for this disgraceful conduct is stated to be lack of harmony and understanding on the part of the parents due to the ‘generation gap . It should have been obvious to even an idiot that this gap, in age, temperament and outlook has always existed between any two generations. The situation is too preposterous for words. Of course, the generation gap has always existed. Then why did parents and children live reasonably amicably in the past? Why not now? The answer lies in the first commandment in the text I quoted from the Holy Quran:
And thy Lord has decreed that you should all obey none but Him [humbly].’ (17:23)
Previously, the parents tried to obey God according to their respective religion, and they also taught their children from their infancy to obey God.
Now most parents do not themselves believe in God. Even if they profess to do so, they do not try seriously to obey Him in their daily lives. There is no question of the children under these circumstances believing in or obeying God. Previously, in spite of the generation gap, both the parents and the children believed in, and obeyed God. So the parents were better human beings and a better example to their children. In any case, the children themselves were afraid of offending God and so they obeyed their parents as directed by God in all religious. So the present worldwide rebelliousness of the youth against their parents cannot be remedied unless mankind goes back to the obedience of God. Since Islam alone preaches monotheism in its perfection, and the only concept of God acceptable to human nature and reason is monotheistic, faith in God can be revived only when men who have lost that faith accept Islam. And until that happens, parents who have lost faith, or at least a living faith, in God will not regain it. Nor will they be able to communicate that faith to their children. And the rebellion of the parents against God, and of the children against their parents, cannot be put down.
They do it because they are their well-wishers. The record of the parents shows it, from the time of a childs conception to the time of their death. Nobody can suspect their bona fides. For the parents who make sacrifices all their lives for their children to the extent of giving their lives, if necessary, and who love and care for their children next only to Allah, there can be no motive to interfere, except for the good of their children. If you put your point of view to your parents respectfully and pleasantly, the chances are that they would agree with you, out of affection and the spirit of sacrifice which govern all their relations with you, even if they are not really convinced. If to please Him you obey your parents even if they happen to be wrong, He has the power to turn a wrong decision to your good. But even if you have to suffer occasionally, should you mind considering that your parents suffered for you all their lives. To the teenagers who do not like their parents interfering in their lives occasionally, we would say that when you grow up and they grow old you would be interfering in their lives, particularly if they are living with you as you are living with them now. When the children were young, wasnt there the same difference in age, temperament and habits between them and their parents. But did the parents therefore ill-treat their children for that reason, or separate them from themselves. The children may not be able to justify the above, but let me do it for them. One reason why the parents are not tolerated in their old age is that they become short-tempered. So occasionally, they might say something, which irritates or hurts their children. That is why the sublime Holy Quran has said, ‘Do not say Fie to them.’ The parents may, in their old age, occasionally say or do something, which irritates their children. But the children are much worse offenders in this respect. These days the son, upon whom lies a much greater responsibility than the daughter to look after the parents in their old age, finds it difficult to discharge his duty because of his wifes objections, chiding or quarrelling. When you needed caring after, did your parents throw you out of the house, or ask you to live separately, because somebody objected or quarreled. They always defend them, to the extent of frequently defending them even if the children are at fault. ‘If they stood by you then, shouldnt you stand by them now? The young of either sex is, ‘Have pity on your old parents and look after them as they looked after you when you needed their care. We will show shortly that it creates unbearable problems and sufferings for the old people to be left alone to fend for them. In fact, it has become dangerous now. We have heard many young men say, ‘Our parents brought us into this world in having their sexual fun: so it was incumbent upon them to look after us. What special favor have they then done to us?’ It would have been better if such unworthy children had not been brought into this world. So far as sexual satisfaction is concerned, it would have been had without incurring the life-long liability to bear and rear the children. What suffering and sacrifice the mother goes through to bring a child into this world is well known. And what the father undergoes, in the way of life-long expenditure and liabilities, not to speak of the burdens of care and anxiety, is also well known. All this to bring an ungrateful child into this world is enough favor. But consider what happens afterwards.
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